Thank God We’ve Come to Our Senses

By Pardis ParkerNovember 4, 2020

Thank God We’ve Come to Our Senses

As we near the end of 2020, we’ve finally gotten the message — from coast-to-coast, we’re taking the simple yet sensible precaution of using a thin, protective material to safeguard what’s most important to us …


… our property. 


Retailers across the country are stepping up security measures to try to head off any damages to their stores during election-related protests in the coming days. Tiffany, Saks Fifth Avenue, CVS, Target and Macy's are among the chains that are boarding up some of their stores' windows in preparation.


CNN 


And thank God.


Can you imagine how irresponsible it’d be to wade into such a high-risk situation without some form of protection? It’d be gross negligence. The US simply cannot afford to unjustifiably lose windows, sneakers, or Burberry pantsuits.


And why should it?


Protecting what we value most is easy — all it takes is putting something between the potential threat and that which we treasure.


It’s not expensive. It’s not permanent. It’s not uncomfortable. And it makes sense.


Some critics suggest that this sort of precautionary measure violates rights. That remaining unprotected should be the norm. As it is with the Amazon. And Catholic sex. After all, there are whispers that the threats we’re hearing are nothing more than campaign rhetoric meant to scare and control.


But ignoring these threats and remaining exposed leaves us vulnerable to the possibility of losing what’s most precious — the things we own.


Because if legal precedents have taught us anything, it’s this:


That property isn't like human life. It’s actually valuable.


And losing it just isn’t tolerable.

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Pardis Parker is a stand-up comedian and the creator and star of Comedy Central’s Mideast Minute  a fake news show that tries to convince Middle Easterners that everything’s OK in the Middle East. You can follow him online @pardisparker, and you can see more of his work at pardisparker.com.

¤


Image by SounderBruce.

LARB Contributor

Pardis Parker is a stand-up comedian and the creator and star of Comedy Central’s Mideast Minute  a fake news show that tries to convince Middle Easterners that everything’s OK in the Middle East. You can follow him online @pardisparker, and you can see more of his work at pardisparker.com.

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